Trigger

I would write more often, but I don't want to crib.

Stuck in the middle of a curious, preordained and a new kind of defeat, I'm counting my days backwards. Sometimes, and not infrequently, it is a good thing that all things come to an end. Wish me luck. I'm twitching to hit the restart button. Only, the restart button seems to be at the end of a long maze.

Question/Answer

Why?
Because.

Holidaemon

At Mandarmoni, on a trip with my family. A thousand years ago.

Life was so good, so easy. :'-)

As an afterthought which most likely echoes your own, isn't that how it always seems? Don't we almost always, deep down inside, prefer an established past, irrespective of how awkward and difficult it seemed at the time, as opposed an uncertain future and a trying present that we constantly possess ?

Business As Usual

Tonight, I'm moving to Bangalore.
(yay)

How Mow Cow

These are the top ten search strings in Google starting with "How to" :

1. get pregnant (13900000 results)
2. download youtube videos (24700000 results)
3. reduce weight (27600000 results)
4. improve spoken english (446000 results)
5. kiss (59400000 results)
6. gain weight (26400000 results)
7. loose weight (25000000 results)
8. download videos from youtube (24800000 results)
9. learn english (98900000 results)
10. lose weight (17900000 results)

Yes, I have been robbed of all inspiration and creativity. Cut me some slack, I'm an IT guy. However, the list seems to indicate that most of the people with access to the internet on this planet are way more hopeless that you or I. I mean, not only are people looking for this information desperately, but there are actually millions of people out there who have taken trouble to spend money, time, and other resources to dole out these instructions (Just look at the number of results).

I mean really, you need a guidebook on how to get pregnant? That's what most people are looking for in this world? (And here I was thinking that people want to know how to screw and not get pregnant. Can you hear me, contraceptive-making companies? Fools, stop making pills and condoms, and shift to lubrication, funnels and babycare products.) At this stage would it be safe to assume that the people looking for this information are all women? If not, sorry to break your heart dude, if you have a shlong, you can't have a baby just like that. And also, how to kiss? What do you need in your instruction manual, sir, ma'am? A flowchart and a diagram that ends in a helpful "Just add water" or "Click here" ?

As regards weight, this is a touchy issue for many, I realise, but the best way to lose weight is to smoke pot. The best way to gain weight is to smoke pot and then consume lots of meat and dairy products. Yes, it works. It is magic. And to 'loose' weight, take a dump, or smoke pot and try to type in 'lose weight', I guess. Heh. Another way to gain weight is to get pregnant. Then, to lose weight either

1. deliver the baby
2. pull out your hair in bloody clumps, if you couldn't get pregnant or are trying to figure out how to steal youtube videos.

I know, the way I turn problems into solutions and solutions into metasolutions is sheer elegance. I wanted to write my own top ten How to list. Couldn't. Is it my fault that I know everything?

And these are the top ten search strings in Google starting with "Best ways to" :

1. propose
2. conceive
3. reduce weight
4. propose a girl
5. save tax
6. get pregnant
7. lose weight
8. die
9. invest money
10. kiss

There is so much bad humour lurking in here, I think I'll just let it pass and then get the coffee I was trying to drink out of my nose. (I wasn't trying to drink out of my nose, please note. I was trying to drink out of a cup. I stifled an awkward and potentially loud laugh, ergo sum.)

Lord, I should move to dumber places and write misguidebooks.

Lonely Planet

The earth seems to be an unfairly hopeless place.

I mean, come on, do people in the rest of the universe have to put up with layers and layers of, uh, other people who have difficulty in coming to terms with the simplest of ideas?

Like, for example, stonechips and biriyani do not mix. That live wire should be concealed/taped over. That one does not speed on a highway when a wheel is about to break off (and does, after a point, due to abovementioned idiocy).

Oh, I'll live through this. Just you see.

Me Too

It is slightly amusing how the desire to be validated drives so many (and so much) of life's actions, by the individual or the collective.

To be a good listener is a privilege that few have, and fewer want.

Break Fast

My being aches to break free. To write. To give in. To be held prisoner.

I know, after such a long radio silence, one would expect something better, more meaningful. But then again, it has been such a long time since the rain felt completely, utterly meaningless.

This constant effervescent activity is tiring. Question is, how does one make a programmer out of a poet? One doesn't. Poetry, philosophy and programming are related intricately, only one needs to know how.

I'm saving money. This means, on days I plan on having an evening snack, I usually skip breakfast. Ah, times are difficult. But then, I have strong teeth.

Setup Files

Even in departure, I could help not one, but two people onto a very, very solid step forward. Probably more will be added to this list, soon.

It feels good.

Yes, even after more than a year of doing the same for hundreds of people.

:-D